Useless Smokers

Every once in a while I like to go out for a night on the town, to try and forget all the shit you people give me to write about. There is nothing like having a couple of cocktails, getting out on the dance floor, having a little fun. However, after a couple of hours, I feel like a 7 year old Malaysian kid in a sweat shop. So I will usually take a step outside to get a breath of fresh air and cool off. Usually, at this point I have forgotten all the stupidity that raises my fucking blood pressure. Unfortunately, this is the time that someone brings me back to reality and gives me chest pains.

A person will walk up to me and every other person outside and ask me for a lighter or even worse a smoke. Now some of you who smoke might think I am an asshole. My defense against such allegations . . . is you can go fuck yourselves. How does someone have a habit, that gives those cravings that makes them irritable pricks every forty five minutes, and not have everything they need to satisfy those cravings. Listen you fuckers; do you really think you won’t be craving a smoke in 45 minutes? So fucking stupid. “Can I bum smoke”? Hell no, but you can go fuck yourself.

And don’t confuse me for someone who is anti-smoker. I know a stress-related heart attack will get me before lung cancer gets any you assholes smoking. I don’t give a shit how you end you fucking life faster. Booze, smokes, sex, drugs; fuck it, who gives shit. Name your poison and take it. 

Hi i'm a PC and Hi i'm a douchebag

 Hi I’m a PC. Hi I’m a Douche Bag.

If you haven’t been to a university campus recently, then you would not be aware of the new religion that is taking the fucking hippy socialist pussy world by storm. The messiah of this new cult and or religion recently died. His name was Steve Jobs. Yes, I am talking about the fanatical following of Apple.

Do not misinterpret what I am saying. I like apple products; matter of fact, I love my IPhone. However, what I hate is when people live in that La La land/dreamworld that apple is not a Corporate business that would kill their own Grandmother, and possibly yours for profits. Apple doesn't care about you, me, their black rim glasses wearing zealots, or anyone else. They care about profits and their investors. If you think otherwise take you IPad or mac book air and smash it against your head till you see the truth, or they replace it under their wonderful product protection plan.

Good on you, if you love apple and buy what they make because it is a superior product. You are a capitalist who spends your money as you see fit. If you bought an IPhone, IPad, and Mac book air to show how big your dick is, you are also a capitalist but also a douche bag, an idiot, and a meat head. Cool IPad bro, you must be really sweet.

However, what I hate the most is the people who see this corporate company as god send that has brought our world closer to salvation. You people are more delusion than the guy using an IPhone as a penis pump, there isn’t an app for that. You look at Steve jobs apple like they make these products out of the goodness of their own hearts and that any money made by apple goes towards purchasing a puppy for every kid who was ever diagnosed with cancer.

You want to know a little well known secret. That you can find in google really easily. Search Apple Foxconn and suicide nets. You will find that apple has their main factory in china. This factory which is owned by a company called Foxconn, which is used by other companies such as HP, Dell and other less worshiped companies, creates many products such as the iPhone and iPad. The working conditions involve working long hours with no breaks and the irresponsible use of dangerous chemicals. The repetitive labour, which is comparable to a Nike sweat shop, has actually caused more than 15 suicides and the threat of a 150 person mass suicide to improve working conditions. Foxconn solutions was to put up suicide nets to catch those who attempt suicide.

So to all you Apple worshipers out there, I hope you can still use the touch on your iPads with all that blood on your hands

I Phones, Hippies, and phone companies

Who here has an I phone, it is a pretty amazing piece of technology huh? A blackberry meh not so much , but it is better than some bush league Motorola. I will say one thing first i don’t like the I phone because it is an apple product. Which for some reason, people seem to have formed a cult around a company that partakes in the same corporate bull shit that every other company does to get rich. Some of you people are waiting for the resurrection of Steve Jobs. But I’ll rant on you apple worshiping knobs later. As for right now let us get back to the I Phone. It is an amazing thing. I can waste hours of possibly productive time anywhere I can get a cell signal. I don’t just have the ability to purchase music, but also figure out the name of that song, thank god for shazaam. However, if there is one thing that ruins such an amazing piece of technology it is that it is tied to a phone company.

This is the real issue of our society. While all the hippies are banging drums outside the oil sands, chaining themselves to refineries, and bitching about the evils of the oil gas companies. The true source of evil in our society is the phone companies. You know what I am talking about if you have ever talked to representative over the phone or gone into a store to discuss an issue with your bill. Unless you are there to sign your soul over to Bell, TELUS, or Rogers for at least three years, they wouldn’t care if you were bleeding out on the store floor.

I have stood in a bell store and felt time stop. I have sat there with an issue for hour and half. But they can sign you up for a new contract in minutes. You say, “excuse me I have an issue with my phone” they respond with, “do you want to replace it and get a new contract”? If you respond no then they will stare at you blankly. You ask them If you can get a lender and get it fixed and they let out a long sigh and ask if you are sure. Of course I am sure fix my damn phone! I want consumers to chain themselves to their usless displays and sing clever songs about how they are tired of being treated like crap.