Thursday, May 10, 2012

Shitty fucking driver



After a hard year of university, I finally returned back to my small town to work and save for the next year of school. The way I do this is by driving a delivery truck for my old man’s shipping company. Not too bad of a job, till today.

I am driving on a highway to a nearby town where most my deliveries are.  I notice at an intersection coming up, where I have right of way, there is a black Buick Enclave. I see it has stopped at the intersection. So I keep on my merry little way. Now when I am just about to pass her she decides, “I hate this fucking SUV and that delivery truck.” I come to this conclusion because she decides to cross the highway just as I am about to pass. I swerve and miss her with the front of my delivery truck, but the my rear tires smash into her SUV. It rips the front of her Enclave off and snaps my rear axil and drive shaft. She fucked me.

I jump out to see if she is okay, unfortunately no harm came to her empty fucking head. I ask what the fuck happened and she said, “it all happened so fast I don’t know I didn’t see you.” I know she is blowing smoke up my ass at this point. I drive a big YELLOW delivery truck. You have to be fucking blind to miss it. So I assume she could not see because her head was up her ass. This makes my friend "Fucking Stupid" look like a good driver.

Worst part of this fucking mess, is what I was transporting. I deliver milk for Dairyland and Saputo Inc. Now I don’t know if you have ever dropped a whole litre of milk on the floor before, but when that shit is spread out on the floor it is fucking mess. This is nothing compared to the couple thousand litres of milk that flowed out of my truck when I opened the doors to check the load. To anyone who has ever said don’t cry over spilled milk, go fuck yourself.

2 comments:

  1. LMFAO!! No luck big guy!! What did old Bob have to say?

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    1. He wasn't too pissed, it was her fucking fault

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